Wednesday, November 2, 2016

To have or not to have... A baby


For me, this is a question that is easy to answer. My answer is not to have a baby.

The only problem is that time and time again I experience that people do not understand why I don't want to have children. Why is that? IS it so hard to understand that a woman can enjoy her life or want a career and not have a baby. Why is it so hard to understand that I don't see myself as a mother.

Nearly every single time I have answered the question "When are you going to have children" with "never", I get a reply which implies that I am not a woman without children. Some of the replies I have received are, to me, just inconsiderate:
"Just wait till you're older, then you will change your mind", "well then you're probably not with the right man" and my personal favorites "how can you feel that your life is complete if you do not get a legacy" and "what about when you get old, and you do not have any children or grand children to care for you, maybe you will be all alone then"

I have to say that all these answers offended. I am 32 years old now and have been with my fiancé for 10 years. I am old enough to know what I want in life, and to say that I am not with the right man if I do not want children is just really offensive. Not just to me but to my fiancée too, because this suggests that he is not a man who could be a father, and trust me, I believe he would be a great father, just not to children with me. I AM complete without children, and I AM with the right man. I am 32 years old and I have been with my boyfriend since I was 20, and I can assure you that he is the one. I love him with all of my heart and he has known throughout the relationship that I do not want children and he doesn't have a problem with it. So why is it so important for other people to question my decision?

If every single woman who says she do not want to have children is asked these questions, then we also need to ask the men these questions, but we don't. No, because it is okay for a man not to want to have children, but for a woman it is outrageous, because this is the reason why she is on earth, to have children.

I feel that if I have to get these questions, then I should be able to ask a lot of questions to those who DO want children, why they want them, and won't they feel like their life will be ruined. But no I don't want to ask these questions, because I completely understand why someone want children. All I ask is that other people understand why it is okay, NOT to want to have children.

I have felt this way since I was a child. I have never had a dream about being a mother. Sure I had dreams, and I still do. Mine are just different than your dreams. Since I was a child I have dreamt about getting married, having a big career and owning my own shop. Those are still my dreams, and they have not changed through the years.

Now I only wish that people will respect other peoples choices and not feel like they need to question why we do what we do. Some people are meant to be parents and some are not. I LOVE my nieces and nephews and I believe I will be an amazing aunt and I know that my nieces and nephews love me and how I am. I believe that THAT is what I was meant to be - An amazing aunt who adores her nieces and nephews even though she doesn't have her own kids.


Monday, October 31, 2016

Wicked little words by StevieJ. Cole and BT Urruela is LIVE


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"With American Psycho vibes and characters that will haunt you, Wicked Little Words does not disappoint." - #1 New York Times Bestselling Author, Jennifer L. Armentrout 

WickedLittleWords

NOW LIVE!

Nook: coming soon!

wlw-teaser1

Synopsis:
Edwin Allen Mercer
I want them all to read my words. And they do. Every last blood-stained sentence, they've read and praised me for. They love the gore and violence, the realness. And I get a sense of power with it all because I know a secret: the victims in my books—they’re real and have all died on my table. And maybe that’s why the last book had such awful reviews. Murder is, after all, a dirty little thing. Some can stomach it. Others can’t. My answer to those reviews: find a woman to co-author with. To be the next pathetic character in my book. Pity she’s so pretty.

Miranda Cross
All I’ve ever wanted was to be successful as a writer so when I was offered the opportunity to co-author a book with my idol, EA Mercer, I jumped at the chance. He’s beautiful and a literary genius, but something about him makes my stomach knot. And maybe it’s my overactive imagination making my hairs stand on end when he walks up behind me.
After all, these wicked little words we’re typing are only fiction. They’re only fiction...

wlw-teaser5

WLW Spotify Playlist: http://bit.ly/2e3OQqb

Add to Goodreads: http://bit.ly/2dEqGqf


Check out the trailer!!
https://youtu.be/yk1m35PMaxU




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About the Authors:

Stevie J. Cole lives deep in the woods of Alabama with her two precious daughters. She studied Epidemiology concentrating on cancer research but has always had a passion for writing. Some of her stories will strip you bare, some will give you nightmares, but the one thing she can promise is that she will always give you stories that make you feel.

Raw. Gritty. Love.
Because sometimes characters need to be flawed.


Follow Stevie:
Facebook – http://bit.ly/2e7n8ul
Goodreads – http://bit.ly/2dhdIho





BT Urruela was an infantryman in the US Army from August 2004 until February 2011. At the end of a year long tour to Baghdad, Iraq, his vehicle was hit by two roadside bombs, which took his right leg below the knee and the life of his commander. He was awarded a Purple Heart for his wounds, an Army Commendation Medal, and Combat Infantryman’s Badge. He medically retired from the Army in 2011 and moved to Tampa, FL where he currently works as a Director and Brand Ambassador for VETSports, a veteran community sports nonprofit he co-founded in 2012. He also conducts motivational speeches, works as a cover and fitness model and he’s a personal performance trainer. He co-wrote the military romance novel A Lover’s Lament and will be releasing his debut solo novel, Into the Nothing, on June 21st, 2016.

Follow BT:
Facebook – http://bit.ly/1RdUEIa
Website – www.bturruela.com
Goodreads – http://bit.ly/240cV3h

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Preorder links for Wicked Little Words by Stevie J Cole & BT Urruela is LIVE

Preorder links are LIVE for Wicked Little Words by Stevie J. Cole & BT Urruela! #OneClick #HalloweenRelease

Amazon:
US:  http://amzn.to/2dHrB7Q
UK: http://amzn.to/2dGVi8G
CA: http://amzn.to/2ecuXkV
AU: http://amzn.to/2dIFv8v

iBooks: http://apple.co/2dVcAiY
Blurb:
Edwin Allen Mercer
I want them all to read my words. And they do. Every last blood-stained sentence, they've read and praised me for. They love the gore and violence, the realness. And I get a sense of power with it all because I know a secret: the victims in my books—they’re real and have all died on my table. And maybe that’s why the last book had such awful reviews. Murder is, after all, a dirty little thing. Some can stomach it. Others can’t. My answer to those reviews: find a woman to co-author with. To be the next pathetic character in my book. Pity she’s so pretty.

Miranda Cross
All I’ve ever wanted was to be successful as a writer so when I was offered the opportunity to co-author a book with my idol, EA Mercer, I jumped at the chance. He’s beautiful and a literary genius, but something about him makes my stomach knot. And maybe it’s my overactive imagination making my hairs stand on end when he walks up behind me.
After all, these wicked little words we’re typing are only fiction. They’re only fiction…



Saturday, October 1, 2016

Cover and Blurb reveal: Wicked Little Words by Stevie J Cole & BT Urruela


The chilling cover to Wicked Little Words is FINALLY here!
Release Day: October 31st
Cover Model: Alfie Gordillo
Cover Design: Cover Me Darling
Genre: Erotic Thriller



Sign up to get an alert when preorder links are available!

Synopsis:
Edwin Allen Mercer
I want them all to read my words. And they do. Every last blood-stained sentence, they've read and praised me for. They love the gore and violence, the realness. And I get a sense of power with it all because I know a secret: the victims in my books—they’re real and have all died on my table. And maybe that’s why the last book had such awful reviews. Murder is, after all, a dirty little thing. Some can stomach it. Others can’t. My answer to those reviews: find a woman to co-author with. To be the next pathetic character in my book. Pity she’s so pretty.
Miranda Cross
All I’ve ever wanted was to be successful as a writer so when I was offered the opportunity to co-author a book with my idol, EA Mercer, I jumped at the chance. He’s beautiful and a literary genius, but something about him makes my stomach knot. And maybe it’s my overactive imagination making my hairs stand on end when he walks up behind me.
After all, these wicked little words we’re typing are only fiction. They’re only fiction…

ADD TO GOODREADS: http://bit.ly/2dEqGqf

About the Authors:

Stevie J. Cole lives deep in the woods of Alabama with her two precious daughters. She studied Epidemiology concentrating on cancer research but has always had a passion for writing. Some of her stories will strip you bare, some will give you nightmares, but the one thing she can promise is that she will always give you stories that make you feel. 

Raw. Gritty. Love.
Because sometimes characters need to be flawed.

BT Urruela was an infantryman in the US Army from August 2004 until February 2011. At the end of a year long tour to Baghdad, Iraq, his vehicle was hit by two roadside bombs, which took his right leg below the knee and the life of his commander. He was awarded a Purple Heart for his wounds, an Army Commendation Medal, and Combat Infantryman’s Badge. He medically retired from the Army in 2011 and moved to Tampa, FL where he currently works as a Director and Brand Ambassador for VETSports, a veteran community sports nonprofit he co-founded in 2012. He also conducts motivational speeches, works as a cover and fitness model and he’s a personal performance trainer. He co-wrote the military romance novel A Lover’s Lament and will be releasing his debut solo novel, Into the Nothing, on June 21st, 2016.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

COVER REVEAL - Into The Nothing by BT Urruela



Title: Into the Nothing

Series: Broken Outlaw #1

Author: BT Urruela

Release Date: June 21, 2016

Add to Goodreads



Xander Evans has been on the road for many years. Never settling. Always moving from one place to another, unable to let go of his past. He lived a tragic childhood, spending most of those years in foster care. He's never felt like he's had a home. That is until he stops in the small town of Truman Valley, Missouri, where he meets a woman who will change everything he's ever known.

Paige Watson has it all. A loving family, beautiful home, and a great career. The only thing she's missing....is love. After escaping an abusive relationship, she opens her heart up to a stranger. He is unlike any man she's ever met. He came into her life and turned it completely upside down. Everything is perfect. That is, until one fateful night. 

A night that would tear the Watson family apart, never to be put back together again. 

A night that would send Xander away to prison for life.








BT Urruela was an infantryman in the US Army from August 2004 until February 2011. At the end of a year long tour to Baghdad, Iraq, his vehicle was hit by two roadside bombs, which took his right leg below the knee and the life of his commander. He was awarded a Purple Heart for his wounds, an Army Commendation Medal, and Combat Infantryman's Badge. He medically retired from the Army in 2011 and moved to Tampa, FL where he currently works as a Director and Brand Ambassador for VETSports, a veteran community sports nonprofit he co-founded in 2012. He also conducts motivational speeches, works as a cover and fitness model and he's a personal performance trainer. He co-wrote the military romance novel A Lover's Lament and will be releasing his debut solo novel, Into the Nothing, on June 21st, 2016.





Saturday, March 5, 2016

Endometriosis - My story


First of all, I am sorry for all the spelling mistakes etc. in this story.

To start with I need to make it clear that this is ONLY my story, and that there are many women out there that have it much worse than me. On a day to day basis I can function in a job without any sick days because I am on the pill at a minimum of three months straight before I have my period. I chose this together with my doctor because we found out that by doing this I could have a full time job (37 hours), or I could go to school without any pain, since the pill, and sometimes pain medication, keep my endometriosis pains away. This is my story of how my road from no diagnosis to a endometriosis diagnosis was, and I need you all to know that I consider my case a mild case of endometriosis because there are many women around the world who have their pain a lot more often than me, and this disease needs to be more known among doctors, so the women do not have to go as long as I did before they get their diagnosis.

Since March is endometriosis awareness month I have decided to finally tell my store about my "disease". There are not many people who know the whole story, or even know I have this diagnosis, simply because I hate telling them everything because of the damn pity that shines through their eyes. I also hate trying to explain to them what it is about. Many do not understand my pain and believes that it is me who is overreacting, and this is a big reason why I do not tell anyone about it. My family, my boyfriends family and a select few of my friends know my story, and it is because of this that it has taken me so long to share my story. But maybe my story can help another girl who suffers from endometriosis and maybe get her to seek out a good doctor to get a diagnosis or to at least get her pain checked out. Maybe she does not have endometriosis, maybe she has something different or maybe she just suffers from regular pain during her period, who knows?

I can not tell you how it began because honestly I do not remember the precise year, but what I DO remember is that I have had my pain since I began my period, which started around the age of 12 if I remember correctly. For the first couple of years I thought that my pain was natural, but because it constantly made me exhausted I ended up visiting my doctor for help. All he said was that the pain was natural and I could always take some head ache pills (which of course did not help me with the pain). I began with those pills and started to live with the pain and soon realized that I just had to live with being exhausted around my period and sometimes other days of the month.

I began to live with the thought of thinking before I just said yes to hanging out with friends because I KNEW that if it were around that time of the month I could not cope with noise or many people in my head. I just had to have some peace and quite and be able to relax and not be bothered too much.

What I recall is that my family always supported me. Of course my mother could not understand my pain either but since my doctor told us that it was normal pain and he could not do anything about it, then we did not do much more about it. I finally turned 18 and moved out and also got a new doctor so I did not have to travel 25 km to visit my doctor. Instead I got a doctor in the new town I lived in. I complained to him about my pains and he gave me some stronger pills but that was the end of it once again. I began to stay home sometimes through both public school and high school because I could not cope with anything other than just being home and do nothing.

When I graduated high school I was 21 years old and had a boyfriend who lived close to 300km from me so I decided to move down to where he lived, since I was already going to move out of town because of the education I chose. Of course this resulted yet again in a change of doctors, which I could not be more happy about because now things started to happen.

I was happy with my boyfriend but it did not take long before things began to be hard for me. I started experiencing pain during intercourse (this had happened to me nearly everytime I had sex before this but I did not think much about it). I started thinking that maybe it was not just because of the size of the man but maybe something completely different. I started thinking about cancer and everything else that could be wrong in my abdomen. My mother had much of her abdomen removed and I knew about this, so I started thinking that maybe something was wrong with mine too, and I visited my new doctor and told him about the pain during sex. He instantly started asking me all kinds of questions and one of them was if I experienced pain during my period. I was now about 21-22 years old.

My doctor told me that he had a feeling that I could be suffering from endometriosis and asked me if I knew about it. Of course I did not know anything about it, and he told me a little bit about it and referred me to the hospital where they would be doing a scan of my abdomen to see if there was any endometriosis. He then told me that if I wanted to have any children now would be the time because statistics showed that from the age of 25 and up it would become more hard to conceive. I have never had a specific wish to have children but since I now had a boyfriend, whom I had been with for 5 years I now had to talk with him because he needed to find out if he wanted to be with me and risk the chance of not getting children or part with me because he wanted children. There could always be a chance of me changing my mind about not having children therefore I felt that I needed to talk with him about it even though he knew children were not something I wanted.

The day came where I went and they scanned me, but they could not see anything and I instantly thought that I was set back to square one. Instead they told me that sometimes there could be endometriosis even though it could not be seen on a scan and they told me that they could go forth with a laparoscopy and asked me if it was something I would consider. Of course I said yes because I needed to find out where all my pain came from and I had now had this for over 10 years without anyone doing anything to help me.

I got the laparoscopy and there the doctors found endometriosis. They had removed the endometriosis and some cysts that had been in my abdomen, but they also told me that it would most likely return (but I knew this already because I was told this before I accepted the operation). The pain became better and could be held down with strong pills. When the final diagnosis came and I had a name for my pain I was 25 years old and had been living with my pain for the half part of my life. I do not with this for anyone else. It was hell to live with the pain and not knowing if it was me who were overreacting or if I had a disease I did not know about.

Even though this was a disease and they removed the endometriosis I was way beyond happy and thrilled to have this disease. Do not get me wrong, I quite often (nearly always) absolutely HATE this disease but now I had a name for my pain, I knew what could be done and what was ahead of me. Since I got my diagnosis I have been happy and peace in my mind, because I no longer live in the unknown. I have a disease but I am so much more than my diagnosis. There are days where I have to stay in bed because the pain is too much and I can not do anything but curl in to a fetus position, but then there are the happier days where I do not have any pain and I can make all the plans with my friends that I want.

During the time where the doctors tried to find out what was wrong with me I had a work. I worked 37 hours a week, often more, but occasionally I called in sick (during my period). It needs to be said that I only have my period every third month, sometimes even less, because when I am on the pill I do not experience so much pain, that I can not function at work. My boss often laughed at me when I called in sick, which I found very humiliating because it was not something I chose, but I knew that if I ended up at work I would not be worth much because of the pain. This resulted in me showing up to work even though I was in severe pain with a boss who did not understand me, thought I was lying and tried to lie to me and tell me that it was not because of me calling in sick that he was laughing but because his girlfriend was there when i did. This I know is not true because it happened nearly every time I called in sick. These experiences was horrific to me because I felt I HAD TO show up at work even though I was in severe pain, and had a boss who did not give a shit.

I am truly happy with my life, even though I am 31 and do not have any children. I love my boyfriend and I believe that we can still be happy without children. My point on having children have not changed, so maybe someone will say that I am lucky I do not want them so I do not experience the loss and grief of not being able to conceive, but that is just not true. I also live with the thought that IF I DO change my mind the next year or two then my chances are VERY slim and that is not a happy thought to have. I choose to live my life and not think about that too much. I can always get a dog :) Which I truly want and I will get that dog one day :-D But to end it all on a happy note, I try to live my life to the fullest so I will not have any regrets when it is over.

This post became a lot longer than I thought it would but I hope some of you read it all the way through and I hope my story can help some of you who suffers from pain. Just remember that your life moves on and you do not have to let the diagnosis control your life. You have to try to live your own life even though it can be truly hard sometimes.

ENDOMETRIOSIS:

It is said that 4-7 % of all women have this illness. The diagnose is very hard to make. It is a serious illness that can lead to infertility and can cause great pain before/during/after menstruation. Here is some of the symptoms of Endo (taken from endo.org):

Pain may be felt:
  • before/during/after menstruation
  • during ovulation
  • in the bowel during menstruation
  • when passing urine
  • during or after sexual intercourse
  • in the lower back region
  • Other symptoms may include:
    • diarrhoea or constipation (in particular in connection with menstruation)
    • abdominal bloating (in particular in connection with menstruation)
    • heavy or irregular bleeding
    • fatigue
    The other well known symptom associated with endometriosis is infertility. It is estimated that 30-40% of women with endometriosis are subfertile 

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

COVER REVEAL better late than never - KL Grayson's On Solid Ground Cover Reveal

Today we’re revealing the cover of K.L. Grayson’s On Solid Ground! I am so excited to share this gorgeous new cover with you! On Solid Ground is a novella in the Touch of Fate series and will be releasing Janurary 5th!

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About On Solid Ground:

June 5, 2008 I made a mistake of epic proportions. Moving home was an easy choice because I knew that I had to make things right. I had hoped to win back Harley’s friendship, but I never imagined that I’d win her heart … or the heart of her son. Now that I have, I’m never letting them go. They’re my life, the reason I breathe. We’ve worked hard to get where we are, and we’re finally standing on solid ground.

Or so I thought …

***

Tyson’s ex-fiancé wasn’t supposed to move back to St. Louis … that wasn’t part of the plan. And she sure as hell wasn’t supposed to start working with him. I trust him—at least I think I do—but when secrets are being kept and things start to unravel, I’m left wondering if I made a mistake. I allowed myself to fall in love with the only man to ever break my heart.

And now I’m afraid he might break it again …

This is a Harley and Tyson Touch of Fate Novella and can be read after book #1 or book #2 but should not be read as a standalone.








Read the series now!


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About K.L. Grayson:



Kirby_9135

K.L. Grayson resides in a small town outside of St. Louis, MO.  She is entertained daily by her extraordinary husband, who will forever inspire every good quality she writes in a man.  Her entire life rests in the palms of six dirty little hands, and when the day is over and those pint-sized cherubs have been washed and tucked into bed, you can find her typing away furiously on her computer.  She has a love for alpha-males, brownies, reading, tattoos, sunglasses, and happy endings…and not particularly in that order.






IG: @booksbyklgrayson