For me, this is a question that is easy to answer. My answer is not to have a baby.
The only problem is that time and time again I experience that people do not understand why I don't want to have children. Why is that? IS it so hard to understand that a woman can enjoy her life or want a career and not have a baby. Why is it so hard to understand that I don't see myself as a mother.
Nearly every single time I have answered the question "When are you going to have children" with "never", I get a reply which implies that I am not a woman without children. Some of the replies I have received are, to me, just inconsiderate:
"Just wait till you're older, then you will change your mind", "well then you're probably not with the right man" and my personal favorites "how can you feel that your life is complete if you do not get a legacy" and "what about when you get old, and you do not have any children or grand children to care for you, maybe you will be all alone then"
I have to say that all these answers offended. I am 32 years old now and have been with my fiancé for 10 years. I am old enough to know what I want in life, and to say that I am not with the right man if I do not want children is just really offensive. Not just to me but to my fiancée too, because this suggests that he is not a man who could be a father, and trust me, I believe he would be a great father, just not to children with me. I AM complete without children, and I AM with the right man. I am 32 years old and I have been with my boyfriend since I was 20, and I can assure you that he is the one. I love him with all of my heart and he has known throughout the relationship that I do not want children and he doesn't have a problem with it. So why is it so important for other people to question my decision?
If every single woman who says she do not want to have children is asked these questions, then we also need to ask the men these questions, but we don't. No, because it is okay for a man not to want to have children, but for a woman it is outrageous, because this is the reason why she is on earth, to have children.
I feel that if I have to get these questions, then I should be able to ask a lot of questions to those who DO want children, why they want them, and won't they feel like their life will be ruined. But no I don't want to ask these questions, because I completely understand why someone want children. All I ask is that other people understand why it is okay, NOT to want to have children.
I have felt this way since I was a child. I have never had a dream about being a mother. Sure I had dreams, and I still do. Mine are just different than your dreams. Since I was a child I have dreamt about getting married, having a big career and owning my own shop. Those are still my dreams, and they have not changed through the years.
Now I only wish that people will respect other peoples choices and not feel like they need to question why we do what we do. Some people are meant to be parents and some are not. I LOVE my nieces and nephews and I believe I will be an amazing aunt and I know that my nieces and nephews love me and how I am. I believe that THAT is what I was meant to be - An amazing aunt who adores her nieces and nephews even though she doesn't have her own kids.
